Shoulder Surgery, Again

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More than a year ago I had shoulder surgery to repair my left rotator cuff. Six weeks ago, I had the same operation on my right. The first question people always ask is, “why, what did you do to it?” or “what, happened?” I didn’t do any one thing, it’s unfortunately the way my shoulders are. They sit loosely in their sockets, which made them prone to frequent dislocations. They weren’t full ones, just partial-subluxations, where they pop out enough to cause excruciating pain and then after a varying amount of seconds pop back in, leaving me with days of discomfort and a slightly worse shoulder. Over the years, these subluxations led to tears in each rotator cuff, which led to greater shoulder instability.

In February, I was in a Land’s End changing room having just tried on a long sleeve shirt; I was putting on my winter jacket and my right shoulder subluxed. Panic raced through my mind along with thousands of thoughts like, “I hope it goes back in”, “why isn’t it going back in?”, “what if it doesn’t go back in?”, “I wonder if the lady outside waiting is wondering what is going on in there?”, “I wonder if she heard me slam my foot onto the floor in pain?”

It’s amazing how fast our minds can work and how many thoughts can pass through in a matter of seconds. It did eventually pop back in, and I realized at that I was going to need surgery and that I couldn’t wait any longer. I was always aware of the possibility of having it, so it didn’t come as a surprise that I would need it. After that, I made an appointment with an orthopedist, made an appointment for an MRI, saw the orthopedist again and he told me it was a textbook example of a torn rotator cuff and that I would need surgery. No surprise there. I scheduled my surgery for April 22nd. I would have liked to have had it sooner, but surgeons are pretty booked.

I was more nervous going into this surgery than the last one. It didn’t help that I already knew what to expect. Going into my first surgery, I was aware of the time it would take to recover, however, the ignorance of the process helped me to just get through it and do whatever had to be done. Now, I was dreading the six weeks in the sling and the recovery time afterwards. To recover from a rotator cuff repair, it takes between six months to a year, with over a year being when you can really start putting on muscle.

I didn’t know the time of my surgery until the day before. I couldn’t believe that this was how it was done. It also increased my anxiety because the surgery window could be anywhere from 5am to 4pm. I joked that if I had a 5am surgery, I wouldn’t even need anesthesia because I’d sleep through it. On the opposite spectrum, something in the late afternoon would be the worst because you can’t eat the day of. I knew how poorly my body reacts to anesthesia, so I’d be feeling the effects of it well into the night/next day. Luckily, I was told to arrive at the hospital at 9:30am. 

It was impossible for me not to compare my surgical experience in Korea to here. The biggest difference is that in Korea you have to arrive at the hospital the day before and spend the night, and then after spend a week in the hospital. It sounds insane, and it is, but for me, being alone it was the best thing. It’s common for any surgery in Korea. My friend had his appendix removed, and the same thing, a week in the hospital. Here, it’s an in-and-out procedure, but without family and people to help you, it would be nearly impossible to do anything. Here, I couldn’t believe that a couple hours after the surgery, I was meant to change into the clothes that I came in!

Certain things in Korea make more sense. For example, In Korea they’re used to taking off shoes before entering buildings so slippers are commonplace. In the hospital you walk around wearing slippers. Here, you get a pair of socks and you’re not allowed to wear shoes, but expected to walk through the hospital. Also, the hospital “gown” in Korea was a pair of hospital pants and a button-down shirt with buttons going down the shoulder for easy access. Not only was this significantly warmer than the two back-to-front hospital gowns I had to wear here, but also more convenient. I was freezing waiting for my surgery, but I guess that was why they had a heated blanket in the pre-surgical room. Another difference is that here I started physical therapy two weeks after the surgery. In Korea, it was six weeks of no movement. It terrified me to go to physical therapy. Now that I’m a few days removed from the sling, I can say that I’m in a significantly better position than when I was in Korea. The road to recovery is long, but I’m optimistic about the future stability of my shoulders.